Wow! You have had what seems like an ideal first three years after college and all you see are negatives. Have you learned anything in that time? From what you've described, I would think plenty.

The last 3 years was a process you had to go through to get to where you eventually want to be. A very efficient process that not too many others ever get a chance for.

Every time I had a tough gig, instead of focusing of the jerk I worked for, all I thought about was what I was learning and how I could leverage that into my own future. That kind of thinking has always worked well for me.

You now have the background, experience, and skill of an accomplished 35 year old in a 25 year old body. Congratulations!

Now stop worrying about the past, take a short break, and put those hard earned assets between your ears to work for what you really want. This time next year, I hope to see a "Tell HN" post from you, "How I turned 3 years of sweat into a lifetime of fulfillment."

Totally agree that she was not right for the job, but the process was a bit nightmare-ish :

  “That’s all.  Good luck with your job search.”  The phone clicked-- I was stunned.

In my previous job I conducted a lot of interviews of an analytical style. Some people bombed so badly that is was clear well before the end that they wouldn't make the next round. In those cases, I used the remaining time to either talk to them about the career hopes/goals, or to explain how they could have better approached the problem (these skills are partly learnt..) to help prepare them for their next interview. The way I saw it was that they were expecting 30 mins of my time, so they would get it, even if they weren't up to the job. It a courtesy, and it's also self interest - burnt interviewees make a lot of noise on campus.

When I was 'senior' I never applied to McKinsey, because I'd heard so many horror stories about their interviews - I just didn't want to go anywhere near them. I landed a job with one of their main competitors and spent 5 happy years there...

Take more risks.

There's this idea that's beaten into us as children: our success depends upon how hard we work. That's only true insofar as zero effort probably equals zero reward. In reality, your reward is much more proportional to the risks you take (and of course, you have to be lucky and skillful enough to see that risk pan out).

You have to understand the bargain that you are making when you accept an employment offer. You are pledging your effort in exchange for a mostly-fixed amount of cash. In return, the company bears the (not insignificant) risk that your project will be a failure in the marketplace.

My last project made more money for the company than I will ever earn in wages during my lifetime. However, there's a good chance that my current project will lose more money for the company than my last project made. And then future projects that it enables will hopefully make all that back. At my previous employer, I completed two projects that were big successes inside the company and big failures in the marketplace. The point is that my employer is bearing the risk, not I. I knew that was the tradeoff that I made when I accepted their offer.

If I were in your position (and I have been, several times), I'd ask myself: given the startup ideas I have, what are my chances of success? And what can possible employment opportunities give me that will increase those chances of success for future startup ideas? Part of playing your hand well is knowing when to fold, and part is knowing when you're right and everyone else is wrong and you ought to double-down.

In other words, you should think more like a hedge fund manager and less like a programmer.

Sounds like that's what she was doing... "Associate Product Marketing Manager"

Sounds like she is the "recite facts" type, rather than "quickly think critically" type. Google wants the second type of person, and it appears she is not that. So the interview process worked perfectly; she didn't get a job she wouldn't be good at, and Google doesn't have an employee that doesn't fit with them. I fail to see how this is a nightmare, other than that she'll have to work somewhere that makes her buy her own lunch.

This advice is going to have a little bit sharper edge than what I usually dispense:

If some one pays you $50k to work for them, give them $50k worth of work. The rest of the time is your time. You can donate it to your employer if you'd like because the work interests you (I'm sure they won't object), but it probably would be better to use that time to find balance in your personal life.

If you and your employer have different ideas about what $50k worth of work looks like, you'll part ways. Its a market. They don't have to buy what you're selling, and you don't have to sell. If you don't want to be the seller, start your own company and be the buyer. If nothing else, it will radically change your perspective on these experiences.

The people you worked for were not evil, they just got above the expected return on their investment in you. I'm sure they're thrilled, but good references are about all you should expect from that.

I'm baffled by all the 'do a startup' advice.

Your complaints seem to be:

- you feel you're working too hard and too long

- you don't have a work/life balance, hence the girlfriend problem

- you want to lead the good life

- you are peeved that your hard work is making money for others

And who are you?

- by the sounds of it you're a good engineer

- in your twenties you can command a salary in the $100k range

- you're a workaholic, or you allow yourself to be sucked into being a workaholic

From all the talk on here about what startups are like, you'll end up working long hours, you won't improve your work/life situation and all for the questionable payoff at the end. Of all the YC funded startups, all the posting on here of 'feedback on my startup please', how many of those people are walking away after say two years with anything comparable to the $200k you'd make in those two years?

If I were you, I'd restrict my working to 9-10 hours a day Monday-Friday, don't work in the evenings and don't work at weekends. Sort your personal life out. If you're as good as you think you are, which I have no reason to believe you aren't, then in 5 years time you could be earning a salary + bonus of $250k+, all for working a sane schedule. What life style do you want to lead that that wouldn't be enough to live on? And don't worry about the fact that your CEO is earning more than you, someone's always going to be earning more than you, the only thing that matters is whether you have what you need to allow you to live the way you want to.

Graphics drivers under Linux are not a "non-issue", as I for one know from painful experience. And as I understand it, Chrome OS is not running X, so they need specific graphics drivers.