It really is. Exercise and eating well was an activity I became capable of participating in as a result of the correct therapy and dramatically boosted its effects, not something I could persist at when already depressed.
When people claim the contrary it's feels more of a test to see if you can be perceived as responsible enough for your own actions to be worth helping. An individualistic mindset like that isn't very productive at alleviating depression.
Has been a thing for a while and I almost exclusively follow Japanese accounts. Sometimes it's the only place that certain Japanese artists post their work.
Me too. I deleted all of my posts, comments, likes and follows except for a couple of Japanese accounts (primarily Aya Nishitani, author of Shin Megami Tensei, who posts a lot of interesting stuff about Japanese and Western occultism sometimes in English.)
> It used to be that traumatised kids got slapped with a ADHD, autism and/or borderline diagnosis and it got called a day. These are "that's just how you are" style diagnoses. Since 2018 there is CPTSD which finally connects the symptoms to how you got treated as a child.
This was my childhood.
Unfortunately for some the narrative of the perfect family is too precious for others to step up and intervene. It's taboo to accuse someone of being a bad parent, even if it's the truth.
Even away from my abusers for decades, the resulting issues have continued into my adulthood and led to near daily struggle that seems to have no end. With my family I've had to choose my battles and my therapist is the only one who both believes me and is trained to give me the support I require to mentally survive in the adult world, one I would otherwise be unprepared for. Without a good enough job I wouldn't be able to pay them and that support would evaporate.
Imagine if a huge percentage of the drama and anger that shows up online is rooted in formative trauma that nobody will ever admit out loud, and as a result we're distracted by trying to address completely unrelated sources of outrage.
I will continue to judge my parents for abusing me throughout childhood until doing so no longer contributes to my own healing. There is no single right way to respond to a hyperactive child but there are plenty of permanently life-altering ones.
It's less blame/resentment (though I admit I'm still working on it) and more that pretending my childhood was just fine and my parents were absolved of everything just because they tried their hardest was exactly what kept me trapped in a vicious cycle for far too long. Some things go beyond "just" bad parenting and into the level of abuse and potentially lifelong physical/mental conditions. Only by admitting to myself that yes, I was not at fault for all my own misfortunes and maybe someone else did share the blame, was I finally able to start healing.
One of my goals is to isolate the healthy parts of blame from the all-consuming and unproductive ones, which I'm still working on.
For my case (and I speak for nobody else), I don't want to have children until I'm 100% certain I will not make the same mistake as my forbearers and pass down their trauma to my offspring. Some of that decision-making is out of my hands until I've had enough therapy and healing. That's just what abusive parenting does to a person's psyche.
And for what it's worth, I can't predict how my perspectives on parenting will change if I become a parent myself, but even in that case I will never stop believing my own parents were abusive. No model of how the world works makes sense to me without that understanding anymore.
Should 4chan or something similarly extreme be recommended reading for children/adolescents to understand the horrors of the world then?
I would bet that some young people will be as reflective and independently minded as you were to integrate the material into their experience and be better off for it. Some (like me, because I was thin-skinned) won't and it will stress them out or traumatize them instead. Does that make them lesser human beings for not being capable of bettering themselves from seeing the unfiltered truth on their own?
For all the benefit of 4chan, and I do say there is some benefit only after having grown into an adult with better critical thinking skills and years of therapy, it self-selects for a certain type of poster capable of lurking enough, following the norms and having a thick skin. Not everyone will clear that bar and it's unreasonable to think that all young people will turn out like yourself having immersed themselves in it. Some could end up wasting a lot of time baited into petty arguments, or worse.
I strongly believe I was misdiagnosed with autism when in reality the traits were caused by traumatic backlash from those I was supposed to trust towards ADHD traits that would have calmed down after adolescence. The diagnosis was largely a red herring for me and led me down treatment paths that did not address the root of my issues, and I believe I suffered unnecessarily as a result. It is insane to me that people are sooner to blame vaccines and diet than childhood upbringing/environment for causing symptoms construed as autism or ADHD. It makes sense though - no parent wants to be blamed for their child's lifelong disorder, just as mine still don't to this day. Cancer might just be curable, but a parent who refuses to change their mind will never be.
I am doing better these days but I sometimes wonder how I would have turned out if I got help sooner, instead of spending years and years searching for the wrong kind of help. It doesn't help that society is talking more about this and inadvertently leading people to believe that these problems are just the way things are, without considering upbringing and environmental factors.
At the same time, blaming the wrong problem is different then spending all one's time blaming the right problem, which is different than letting go of the past and doing the best one can with one's life. It is nearly insurmountable for me but I try to put forth an effort each day.
RYM genres would be extremely useful to have as a beets autotag plugin and I've been waiting for years for their API to be opened up specifically for them.
When people claim the contrary it's feels more of a test to see if you can be perceived as responsible enough for your own actions to be worth helping. An individualistic mindset like that isn't very productive at alleviating depression.
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