7) Avoiding hard conversations This is the one I failed at hardest. Well.. my teams might say that accepting arbitrary deadlines was worse, but this is what I personally took as the signal I wasn't suited:
I just couldn't give negative feedback during performance review
You probably shouldn't give negative feedback during performance reviews anyway. Feedback should be given as soon as possible.
Not giving feedback at all is a problem though, first get comfortable with giving positive feedback. Don't move to giving negative feedback too quickly as a new engineering manager.
I, excuse the language, called my technique "a shit sandwich" for getting comfortable giving negative feedback. I'd establish with both the employee and myself a pattern of giving both negative and positive feedback at the same time, instead of only negative. I'd give something good, something bad, and then something good hence the sandwich. I've found that if you are all negative it's too easy to lose an employee and there motivation. By using the sandwich you so that you notice the good and the bad and that you are pulling for them to fix the bad.
If you build a good rapport with everyone, this is unnecessary and you can simply provide constructive feedback without sugarcoating it. The best engineers will see right through this.
I just couldn't give negative feedback during performance review