In India, we'd use a water jug and do a "manual bidet" - you can even have warm water - just fill up in the sink before sitting down. You do have to use your hands but they're gonna get washed anyway.

Would rather do this and wash thoroughly than mess about with strips of cloth.

In much of the world, it is considered offensive to shake hands with your left hand, because the left hand is used instead of toilet paper.

If worst comes to worst, you can use your shower and your hand.

People survived for thousands of years before TP was invented.

That's not the worst of the worst.

The worst of the worst is when there is nobody to run the power plants. How do you shower without electricity? There will be no water.

That said, how come people stock up on toilet paper for months, but they don't have enough food to ever survive to the point of last leaf.

Because people have no idea how to survive without modern utilities and conveniences. Toilet paper hoarding is just panic, not a measured response.

As you say, food, water and living essentials are far more important in a real survival scenario.

> That said, how come people stock up on toilet paper for months, but they don't have enough food to ever survive to the point of last leaf.

It's a meme, alright, but how do you know they don't?

(BTW. a month's worth of food takes less space than a month's worth of TP.)

> a month's worth of food takes less space than a month's worth of TP.

I can just barely imagine a month's worth of food fitting in the space of 3-4 TP rolls, but it would be some extremely calorically dense stuff, and if that was what I ate I likely wouldn't need much of the TP.

In other words, I can't see how this is possibly true unless you have digestive issues one way or the other.

We must be using different kind of TP rolls over here than you have in the US. Perhaps yours are larger and denser?

> BTW. a month's worth of food takes less space than a month's worth of TP.

I have questions... that I guess I don't really want to ask.

To answer the obvious question: it's true if you buy food with sensible caloric and macronutrient density. For instance, in a space of less than one roll of TP, canned meats can supply you with a day's worth of calories - and they're just halfway on the kcal/kg scale (mayonnaise is almost three times denser). If you want a more balanced diet, store flours, pastas, canned fruits&vegs, etc. and then make meals off them.

I once did an inventory of the durable food supplies we had around the house, itemizing each product category to account for energy and macronutrients, and then boxed them all up for storage. In the end, I was surprised just how little space a month's worth supply for two takes, even allowing for a balanced diet. I recommend the exercise - especially now, as you'd probably like to know whether your buffer will last as long as you think, and whether it's balanced.

> For instance, in a space of less than one roll of TP, canned meats can supply you with a day's worth of calories - and they're just halfway on the kcal/kg scale (mayonnaise is almost three times that dense).

It's not the volumetrically small amount of food you're using that strikes me as curious, it's the spectacularly large amount of toilet paper. Holy shit!

> For instance, in a space of less than one roll of TP, canned meats can supply you with a day's worth of calories - and they're just halfway on the kcal/kg scale

Right, so, let's say 2 cans, one roll; two days, one roll. One month, 15 rolls? No. "Halfway on the scale"?" One month, 7 rolls? Maybe more likely, but I'm rounding up at every stage here, and granting you're eating only mayo.

The math just doesn't come close.

Don't forget dried beans and other grains. Calorie & carb dense, and also a shelf-stable source of protein.

One answer is that what comes out is a lot less calorically dense than what goes in. This isn't arbitrary--it's practically a fundamental principle of metabolism/physics.

Less isn't zero, though, and lots of life forms live on the output of others. Dung beetles, for example.

If it comes to that using leaves isn't that bad and if there is no one left to run the power plants you aren't going to want to be anywhere near the city.

Leaves are terrible. Remove the major filth using stones with flat edges. Wash the remainder with water then wash hands thoroughly with soap. Use your left hand for washing so the right hand can later be used for eating etc.

I suspect I will shower just like the Romans did in the event there is no power.

With oil & a strigil? I think that was often just a precursor to a visit at a Roman bath. I think sand was also used, when available.

If necessary, I'll tear up an old sheet into squares, and treat them like cloth diapers. After use, toss them in a pail of dilute detergent and non-Cl bleach. When the pail is full, rinse in the toilet, a couple times, and then wash and dry.

I was with you until toilet.

That's the easiest place to rinse them.

I've lived with babies using cloth diapers. After changing a diaper, it went into the toilet. After settling the baby, you swish the diaper around with tongs, flush, and then repeat rinsing and flushing. Then you hold the rinsed diapers in a pail, for a few days, until there are enough to wash.

But sometimes you forget. And then someone gets surprised when they go to use the toilet ;)

But you can use any paper towel in your outhouse, as there is no plumbing to worry about. Still no shortage of regular paper towels, right?

Paper towel shortages are all around me. Ditto for tissues, baby wipes, hand wipes, etc. I can sometimes get a box or two of tissues so I've built up the equivalent of half a pack of toilet paper. My current supply of TP keeps running down and it's been two weeks since any store anywhere near me has had it.

Don't run them in the washer, just wash them out in the sink. Yeah, your hands will get dirty, but that's what soap is for and anyone who's ever dealt with a baby can tell you that it's not the end of the world.

Also, you only need one per trip that way, and you won't risk fouling the washing machine. Saves water, too.

Great idea! Yes, I think you'd have to give at least a cursory wash ahead if using the washing machine. I said washer mainly because mine has a very hot "sanitize" cycle though, so fouling shouldn't be an issue, especially if I add a little bleach to the load.

Or a shower wand and a clean dry towel?

If cloth diapers work, I don't see why cloth toilet paper wouldn't work.

It would, I was just thinking why do more laundry. But whatever works..

Where... can I donate to the COVID-19 vaccine efforts?!