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Best app store review ever (mike3k.posterous.com)
298 points by flyingyeti on March 27, 2011 | hide | past | favorite | 49 comments


Is there really no better way to put an Apple app store review online than as a series of screenshots?


Possibly. The reviews shown in the store are localized to your country, to unless they have an option for viewing all reviews regardless of origin it'll be impossible for me in Sweden to read US reviews, e.g.


You can switch to the different App Stores by clicking the flag button in the bottom right corner in iTunes. You won’t be able to buy anything but you can read the reviews. There is, however, as far as I know no way of linking to individual reviews and you apparently can’t copy or even just select text.


You can't switch in the iOS App Store App though.


yes you can - just logout and re-login using your id from another country. To get an id from another country use logout of everything in iTunes, flip to that country, sign-up and choose a payment type of 'none' along the way.


Thanks for the hack. I'll try it out some time.

The thing is though, why do I need to jump through hoops to get meta-reviews?

The iTunes Store is displayed as web pages within a deficient browser (iTunes or the iOS app). It's the web stripped of its greatest utilities. Worldwide participation and annotation, extensibility, customizability etc.


Agree on that. I was reading it from my ipad.. I tried to scroll down and it didn't work. I thought it was a bug where the javascript didn't work on the iPad or something.. but just before giving up, I saw the little thumbnail at the top and realized they were screen shot.


Part of the quest. I too was reading from the iPad.


From a comment in the article, you can view the review in iTunes (link launches iTunes): http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewUsersU...


Yes: transcribing it. I wish the OP had gone the extra mile, but I'm glad this review was shared.


I thought it made it more entertaining. It wasn't hard to read with my laptop.


Ok good, so I'm not alone in being totally confused by the UI. I would rather play myst than color.


There is Myst for iPhone/iPad, btw.


The warning of "don't use it alone" is worthless. The UI is such a mess still now i can't understand how it work.


For easier reading:

Color is a ground-breaking new entry in the new genre of MMPRLMG (Massive Multi-Player Real-Live Marketing Games).

Imagine yourself emerging from the dense forest of the App Store(TM). In a clearing ahead you see a shiny new icon, a multicolor wheel. Its name is Color. In the distance you hear marketing dogs yelping buzz. "Social!" "Find Someone." "Party!" You press Install, and your adventure begins!

You tap the app and you're presented with your first challenge. The gatekeeper. You must enter you name and have your picture taken before you can continue. "What will my name be used for?" you ask. No response. "Who will see my picture?" Silence. "You must give us your name and image or you cannot proceed" the interface insists. You acquiesce, wondering if you haven't made your first mistake. But there's no going on until you do, and you WANT to go on.

You are whisked through a portal into a chamber. Along the border are strange icons. In the middle a large, jaunty, mural in the seat-pocket-emergency-evacuation-instructions drawing style. It shows intent people in pants all taking pictures with their phones. The capture reads "Take photos together."

You decide to explore the icons. One's sort of an infinity/Ying/Yang. You wonder what that's supposed to mean. You tap the icon and find yourself on a blank screen. The icon changes to overlapping ovals. What does this new icon mean? You tap that one. You return to the mural room.

You examine the third icon, clearly a clock. You tap it. You see your face, name, and the date. Nothing else. The clock icon is now lit up. You wonder what that means. You notice that questions are starting to accumulate. Should you be writing them down? You tap the clock icon again. It turns into a white screen with the words "No messages." The icon has turned into a sound-wave. You wonder what that means.

You continue to poke around the interface. There are no settings. No info buttin. No hints. You start to sweat a little. No tutorial. No about screen. No credits. No link to a website.

Then you remember the warning. The one written next to the install button. "Do not use Color alone!" You call up a friend. You both look at the interface together. There's no change.

Now things are getting spooky. Is this all there is? Is there no one to explain what these things are or how they work? Is this interface really so simple and obvious that it doesn't need any kind of guide? The though suddenly crosses your mind that you might not be technically savvy enough to understand an interface that's so simple it doesn't need a manual!

But this is a Real-Life Adventure game, and you have assists! You cast the Google spell. You discover that the developers spent months developing advanced analysis and data-mining technology. It analyzes location, and position, and light, and ambient noise, and bluetooth signal strength so it can... so it can... "What?" you ask out loud! "What on earth is it going to do with all of this informa..." and you shut your mouth. Is it listening now? Is it analyzing your level of frustration, the shaking in your hand, the defeated angle of the device? Is somewhere a database recording your inability to solve this twenty-first century enigma that you hold in you hand?

You find the company web site. It has no instructions. No "About us!" link. No tutorial, or feature lists, or forums, or support, or contacts, or FAQS. You can almost hear the developers laughing at you! "Silly user, sniffing around our website looking for information! We gather information, we don't give it out!"

You conquered Myst. You understood the end of Lost. You can do this!. You're not going to let this new adventure game genre get the best of you! You will master this if it takes all weekend. You discover a button to create a group! You wonder what a group is. Progress, of sorts.

But at least you know it's just a game, and not actually an app to share photos. And now you also know that you are along. And you're uncool. And not very clever. Because Color told you so.


Thank you for typing it out :)


Is it analyzing your level of frustration, the shaking in your hand, the defeated angle of the device?

Hm, that thought should have crossed my mind as well when first using Color. Guess I'm even less clever than the reviewer.

Anyway, version 1.0.2 just hit the market. It has "Welcome flow fixes", so at least they're working to improve it.


I don't think we have ever in the history of the world seen a start-up so mindbogglingly confusing. Wait, let me clarify that statement with the amendment "handed $41m".

Seriously, has anyone figured out how to use color and found anything good of it? The reason we're all "piling on" is because NONE of us "get it".


Amazing. I love the fact he referenced Myst!


All this anti-color sentiment is really unbecoming. Just get over it and work on your own startup.


Digression:

I remember a time when being a nerd was really unfashionable. People would laugh at us. The word "geek" actually comes from circus parlance, it means someone who does disgusting things like bite the heads off of chickens for the entertainment of the crowd. Being called a "geek" meant being socially repulsive.

The usual dynamic was that somebody who wanted to establish themselves as an alpha would pick on a defenseless target--like a nerd--and engage in some old-fashioned shaming, sometimes with physical bullying thrown in for good measure.

Then the rest of the group would join in like the good little toadies that they were, each eager to prove that they're "in" to ensure that they aren't chosen as the next target.

Our luck changed when the Information Age accelerated. Our skills were in demand and we were able to build things that changed people's lives for the better. Some of us got stinking rich and helped others get filthy stinking rich. Being a nerd no longer meant being socially ostracized. Other people didn't point at us and laugh.

So what do we do with our new-found freedom from being the butt of everybody's jokes?

Well, it seems that sometimes we look within our own circle and point fingers at someone and laugh at them, joining in together in the fun of picking a victim and socially ostracizing them.

At times like this I feel that we haven't really changed the game, we've just moved the lines around a little and shuffled the jerseys.


Something tells me Bill Nguyen, DJ Patil etc. are not socially ostracized in Silicon Valley.

EDIT: Don't confuse social ridicule with vanilla-flavored skepticism.


It feels like we're laughing and shaming them right here in our cozy little tree fort. Or do I misread things and this is all really constructive, healthy analysis designed to help YC Startups do the right thing once they've raised M$40+?

UPDATE: You added a point about skeptism after I replied. Well, simple skepticism would lead to one or two stories. They raised some money, their app doesn't work, their business plan is flawed. Ok, move along, nothing more to see here. The attention they're getting here on HN and the emotional investment people are pouring into this "skeptism" goes above and beyond what one would expect from dispassionate observation.

The tone and disproportionate representation suggests this is not just skepticism, but rather it's a social feeding frenzy. See the comment elsewhere about making fun of Colour for a week or two until it has jumped the shark: I think that author nailed it exactly, we are not expressing skepticism, we did that when it was first mentioned. We are now beating a dead horse for purely social reasons.


First: updated my post to reflect the edit. Sorry for that--didn't think you'd see my response so quickly.

Second, it takes a certain kind of person to repeatedly slam a company that has no effect on their lives. If some hypothetical HN reader is criticizing Color constantly, then no amount of social grace will help them.


The simple truth is that when something like this was going on over Cuil, I looked "raganwald" up in Cuil, thought the result was very funny, and posted it on HN. So... Perhaps I wrote that comment with myself in mind, rather than an appeal to other people to change what they are doing.

(The mind is a funny thing. It is the most powerful computing device we have encountered so far, yet it has a ridiculously primitive and broken tool chain with a debugger that hides or even lies about what's actually going on.)


Amen dude. Thanks for such a candid response...for what it's worth I have no knowledge of Cuil so you're definitely okay in my book. :)


"Nerds we need to have a talk"

http://thingist.com/t/item/4372/

It's kindof sad seeing this stuff. A lot of geeks do this beyond the scope of technology too. Get together with some geeks sometime and watch how they talk about the people around them. Everybody is stupid or a bro or a hipster. It's awful. You'd think that a group who spent out childhoods being made fun of would be nicer.


Creating another startup to reduce the number of pointless startups is obviously the correct solution to everything!

The review may or may not be worth 100+ points on HN, but who am I to judge that. Better I start my own HN, so I can decide ... hey, that would actually work! Sort of.


The assumption was that most people commenting on HN are already working on a startup.


"You can't criticize a movie until you've directed one and sent it off to Cannes! You can't critique a restaurant until you've been verbally abused by Gordon Ramsay! You can't scold people for bashing Color until you've eviscerated the app yourself!"


There is no such thing as bad press.


At this point, we're just beating a dead horse when it comes to Color.com.

Flagged.


Since they're currently the poster child for the "Are-we-in-another-tech-bubble-41-mil-before-launch-says-maybe" era we find ourselves in, I'd think we have at least another week of good stories making fun of them before it jumps the shark.


Sure, but is HN the right place for it?


Since this is the watering hole for discussions related to startups, I'm not sure where else it would go.


Has HN become a watering hole? Believe it or not, it didn't start out that way. I remember people doing serious work to moderate away ValleyWag and other stuff that is intensely popular/viral but counter to the original vision.


Believe it or not, it didn't start out that way.

If there was one phrase that could describe virtually everything the web has touched, this would probably be it.


I've always said that something is worth reading if there's one good idea in it. Your comment could easily be the most insightful statement in this entire thread.

"What makes the desert beautiful, is that somewhere, it hides a well."--Antoine de Saint-Exupéry


There's no constructive discussion about the merits of Color going on this thread. It's just pointing and laughing (like what you mentioned upthread).

I like funny threads too. I use http://reddit.com for that. That's a better place for this post and I would probably enjoy reading it here.


The discussion feels serious to me.

The question in my mind, that I believe is being addressed, is: Is Color a trojan horse big brother spying app looking like the next cool realworld-digital game?

If it is, that lines up with the review's experience of the app not understanding why they have to add their name and photo and why they can't find answers to their questions but feel pressured to just start taking pictures.

If it is, that also hints at the high startup valuation too.


proof that interface and pleasing users means little to acquire vast sums of money from old economy capitalists.


I guess it's right to use the word 'LOL' here :p


Especially seeing as it was just added to the Oxford Dictionary - http://bit.ly/dSmjvL


Hi, first of all, welcome to Hacker News. I hope you will enjoy this site.

Please do not ever use URL shorteners around here. Thanks!


Especially ones that go through Libyan DNS under Gaddafi's control, someone currently in active conflict with the rest of the world.


That's some really low propaganda. By that logic you would not want to use any domain from a "first world" country since they are actively in conflict (by exploiting) the rest of the world. Also, most of them are at war somewhere.


I'm simply saying that retribution by Gaddafi on western companies or end users is not out of the question. As a user, I would rather avoid going through any Libyan servers during peacetime, and that obviously becomes increasingly risky as the thuggish regime becomes desperate.

It's not the fact that Libya is at war, it's the fact that it's a completely corrupt and brutal regime in "normal" times, and I especially don't trust them with my packet requests in these desperate times.


Although they own colour.com, searching for 'Colour' in the App Store takes you nowhere. Doh.


Is there something they can do about this?




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