Knowing people such as Chuck Feeney exist is very motivating. I have had many near-death experiences. When I came back to this world everything saddened me. It’s supposed to be good to be alive. And it is! But ontologically suffering appears to be a fundamental nature about this world. And there are so much unnecessary suffering around us. So many miseries. So many heart-broken things and false dreams and inauthenticity that just result in more sadness. All for nothing at the face of the death.

This is why I want to believe. I want to believe in the goodness of people. Just as I’m constantly troubled by the realistic notion of death as I try to appreciate the transient presence of being here, I want to believe things will get better in the sense that there will be less suffering and people will learn and mature and become wiser and nicer to each other.

As we approach death and become one with nothing, we become one.

As we exist, we are only inducing more pains to ourselves. There are meanings though. I hope there are more meaningful things. We are sentient.