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You can be kind and not be a doormat.

This takes practice and experience but the gist of it here is that you have establish and understand boundaries.

Kindness is giving someone a helping hand when they need it, but not going overboard and letting them take advantage of you over and over again.

In my experience, the less you let vampires suck out your energy, the more you'll be able to give to people and the way to that is by saying No and hearing No.

I personally start by being kind and then await kindness back. If they reciprocate, great. If not, I politely decline their next request and change my response if they change theirs.

Great relationships are formed when there is a mutual exchange of happiness and ideas else it's basically one party taking advantage which is unhealthy.



This resonates. Executed correctly, kindness is not mutually exclusive from assertiveness.

E.g. It is possible to make a complaint at a restaurant in a factual way and with a smile.

E.g.2. Giving hard feedback with a smile, and constructively.

It comes down to empathy, and the basic rule of treating others as we wish to be treated.


I’d go a step further. Not only are they not exclusive they are not really on the same axis at all. They’re just different concepts.

The primary thing they have in common is they are considered opposites by people that have neither.




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