Google is well aware this is a problem and actively obfuscates ways to get connected to support (unless you pay them extra, of course) so I have a real hard time accepting this as an "honest" mistake.
So much this. Host locally, and push encrypted backups to a cloud service.
Doing this will screw Google’s ability to optimize storage for identical files, which may drive up costs, but it’s the best way to ensure your data stays private.
Give them a NAS / old PC with shared network folder (Windows context menu or Samba on Linux), replicate the parts they want on phones etc. with Syncthing, and use any encrypted backup tool of your choice for the cloud backup.
Often people put quotes (or even air-quotes) around things to imply it's sarcasm or that it's only that thing if you can suspend disbelief, so I don't think there's any disagreement there.
Additionally, making them accountable for these mistakes is a way to actually have them resolve them, so honest or not, it's likely to stop of decrease in occurrence then.