> Maybe something that I’ve learned in therapy COULD be entertained as a possibility. It’s a technique that I don’t even know HOW it’s called but it boils down to dedicating 45mins to grievance. As in – you dedicate 45mins per day when you can focus on grieving (e.g. over a failed relationship) and at any other time of the day you have to delay doing it until your 45-mins-of-grief time comes.
45min-1hr of mindfulness training would be more effective, I would think
I think that sounds like a good idea, but I'd maybe divy time up differently. Maybe devote an hour on Sunday for grief, anger, letting out all the negativity, then on other days spend maybe 20 minutes a day thinking about the best things that happened to you that day, right those down, and perhaps when it gets to sunday you might find you don't have anything to grieve this week. An hour a day to negativity would ruin me, but I think maybe constructively using it to fuel up some addrenaline to attack the next week could be good.
Maybe a better practice though to print out some tokens that represent your anger, tape them to a punching bag and let out your steam that way, plus you get dopamine, etc from exercise.
Hate to be that guy (just kidding ;). This isn’t one of those things you pick up in a book. It’s like lifting or any other exercise: you just do it.
Go outside, sit down somewhere, and focus on the external world and not your thoughts. You could even do the whole “breath in, breath out, and empty your thoughts” meditation schtick — if you feel it’s necessary.
If you haven’t been able to focus in a long time, 15 minutes will be hectic. You’ll know you’re being mindful when it feels like you’ve melted into the environment — and are simply an antennae to the stimulus.
Also good for disassociative traumas — the kind that give you the “1,000 yard stare.”
Calm app's Daily Calm with Tamara Levitt. She's a great teacher.
Overall, it's learned through practice. My style is something I like to call, Calm Zen.
I start with a daily calm session (~10min) and follow it with 20min zazen, which is a pretty basic sitting meditation style. I count breaths mentally on the exhale to 10, then start back at 1.
I find tangible results from practicing daily for at least 20min per day. Some have measured results from less, but it doesn't seem to be the case for me.
My favorite resources for "mindfulness":
1. Believe in Jesus
2. Explore contemplative traditions of Hesychasm, Centering Prayer, Hesychasm, Carmelite mystics, etc.
If you attempt to divorce mindfulness meditation from spirituality or even from experience of a transcendent Divinity, you're asking for trouble.
45min-1hr of mindfulness training would be more effective, I would think