As a mildly self-disciplined person myself, I really don’t understand why we need to be so fixated in becoming this mostly unattainable, predictable, hard to maintain, yet boring and repetitive super-version of ourselves.
The only thing that’s good for is to show off to others how undisciplined and bad they are.
Moreover atomic habits and all these “philosophies” are based on a profound misconception or rather a disingenuous marketing tenet—that your life is not “better” yet only because you haven’t followed this or that new improved step-by-step recipe for happiness.
Life is a messy dynamic system constantly veering towards instability. It’s better enjoyed in its complicatedness and unpredictability, not by living by a strictly structured code of conduit that will make you feel like shit when the aforementioned messiness will inevitably throw a wrench into your illusion of a well-oiled machine.
Personally, it’s not about becoming boring or unpredictable. I wanted to learn more about self-discipline because my life consisted of work, trash food, scroll phone and sleep. I am a lazy person by nature, and this is what my life becomes if I don’t discipline myself. It made me unhappy!
The book actually gave me some practical tips on how to stop living a life like that and actually do the things I want to do. Stuff like working up the courage and routine to go to the gym in the morning, or spend my evenings on practicing my favorite hobbies instead of scrolling the phone. Finally, some discipline!
If I’ve learnt anything about myself, it’s that I’ll read the book, get motivated, enjoy a period of improvement, fall off the horse and be back here scrolling HN in bed in a few weeks.
The best improvement I’ve found is to just simply stop caring. Then I’m more happy, then it’s easier to do the things that need to do. The things that don’t get done? Well, they just weren’t meant to be - oops. Maybe one day, but forcing it won’t help.
Atomic Habits is the only self-help book that actually stuck with me. Most of these books simply provide you with faux-epiphanies -- but James Clear in Atomic Habits not only provides concrete, actionable, steps he also supplies examples of his own use of these in his life.
Have you read Nir Eyal's "Indistractable"? Hopefully I'm getting my books right" but in that he talks about identity. That is, the power defining who / what you want to be indentified as / with. At the right moments, it's a powerful thought to have.
Yes this has been my experience of utilizing atomic habits. For me it was all about understanding the how and why of falling into or sustaining negative habits, as well as how the opposite is accomplished, and used this info to modify my most important habits- exercise, diet, and reading
I do get some of the OP blog poster’s anxieties about somehow optimizing every facet of one’s life using these techniques but I always approached atomic habits as making small but very meaningful changes over time and it’s been incredibly helpful for me
If you're overweight, unhealthy, do no physical activity and always tired because you go to bed too late, well, maybe a bit of good habits would be welcome.
I highly doubt that such a person is happier than the healthy fit one.
I get happiness from strict routines and become depressed when they get messed up, and yet you tell me the latter is better. Maybe it is for you but we are all different.
My partner needs routines and positive habits and stability to avoid depression, so I can absolutely relate. It's just the marketing of ready-to-use, one-size-fit-all recipes for happiness I was bickering about. ;)
For me it, the drive to be more disciplined stems from the fact that I live my life so compulsively and I want to experience more things in life that require discipline.
As an example, video games and mindless doomscrolling eat up an inordinate number of hours. Hours that are precious and could be used towards a goal that I would feel proud of experiencing or achieving.
> I really don’t understand why we need to be so fixated in becoming this mostly unattainable, predictable, hard to maintain, yet boring and repetitive super-version of ourselves.
it is because in the technological age, we have come to view ourselves as machines to optimize rather than humans with beautiful unpredictability, passion, intuition, creativity, not being hyper-productive, etc.
I'm not so sure it's the technology age per se, but instead a handful of people in this current age for whom "personal optimization" works well. They sell it. We buy it. And keep buying it even tho' it doesn't work all that well for the rest of us. False gods will do that to ya.
> Life is a messy dynamic system constantly veering towards instability. It’s better enjoyed in its complicatedness and unpredictability, not by living by a strictly structured code of conduit that will make you feel like shit when the aforementioned messiness will inevitably throw a wrench into your illusion of a well-oiled machine.
The whole idea of combatting nihilism is to overcome it. You do that by balancing chaos and order.
You are right that life is not "better" by trying to overcome. That there isn't a true recipe for happiness and thinking so is a fool's errand.
Nietzsche and John Stuart Mill had similar ideas that happiness is not the goal. But one feels happiness when resistance is being overcome. That happiness is not found, it is achieved.
I find that habits help tame the chaos. Habits are automatic actions and they are nice for doing things without worrying about them. My morning routine is such a habit that have gotten it done on really bad days. But still flexible enough that can change it while traveling.
I think the problem is that people want habits like “be productive” when should have multiple habits like “check todo list in morning”. They also try to pull off big things like “exercise daily” or “eat healthy” when should have steps as habits. There are also other tools to get organized; both of these could be calendar events. Todo lists are great for non-automatic things, I’m not going to completely remember my packing list.
