Bringing up Alan Kay's definition of OOP is approximately worthless when it comes to discussions of mainstream OOP. Yes, Erlang is "more OOP" than Java by Kay's definition. But that ship has sailed. People will (justifiably) look at you funny if you claim your functional language is OO, and when asked to name an Object Oriented language will say C#, Java, or maybe C++.

That definition is dead. Wish it well, then bid it farewell. "OOP" means "Java" and we can just call Erlang and co "Agent Model".