The issue with PHP isn't that you can't make it do a whole bunch of things that are wonderful...
It's why PHP would be the best tool for the job once you have a specific objective in mind.
When you have a specific problem to solve other than 'supported by millions of cheap webhosts' PHP is rarely the best choice.
It's like a swiss army knife, it's highly useful in many situations and a good tool to have in your pocket, but if you know you're going to need to unscrew something you should probably bring a screw driver.
It's why PHP would be the best tool for the job once you have a specific objective in mind.
When you have a specific problem to solve other than 'supported by millions of cheap webhosts' PHP is rarely the best choice.
It's like a swiss army knife, it's highly useful in many situations and a good tool to have in your pocket, but if you know you're going to need to unscrew something you should probably bring a screw driver.