Constantly working in what OP describes as defence might also be negatively affecting the perception of cause and effect of own actions:
Specifically, we show that individuals following clock-time [where tasks are organized based on a clock**] rather than event-time [where tasks are organized based on their order of completion] discriminate less between causally related and causally unrelated events, which in turn increases their belief that the world is controlled by chance or fate. In contrast, individuals following event-time (vs. clock-time) appear to believe that things happen more as a result of their own actions.[0]
** - in my experience, clock based organisation seems to be very characteristic to what OP describes as defensive, when you become driven by incoming priorities and meetings
Broader article about impact of schedules at [1] is also highly relevant and worth the read.
Broader article about impact of schedules at [1] is also highly relevant and worth the read.