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When my wife had our children, she (and I) were handed them, stuck in a room, then distrurbed for tests and briefings every 90 minutes for 3 days.

How anyone can recover from something as savage as childbirth is beyond me. It is no small miracle that she was able to walk, let alone care for two new babies and herself (with my help, but there's only so much I can do to assist with breastfeeding or healing of major trauma).

At one point I asked all the nurses to leave and not come back for 6 hours in very angry tones.



The same thing happened to my mom in her 50s after 6 hour quadruple bypass surgery. They basically kept her awake for two days doing tests every hour after her surgery. She eventually started hallucinating from lack of sleep. It just seems so inhumane.


>She eventually started hallucinating from lack of sleep.

When sleep deprived, the brain enters REM sleep even while awake. That's what those hallucinations are.


Not just hallucinations but lack of sleep can change your very character and behaviour. The executive part of the brain in the frontal cortex becomes inhibited and you have less conscious self-control over the expression of emotions/feelings. You will become very noticeably irritable, angry, petty, quarrelsome and even sometimes violent.

I have had the misfortune of experiencing this twice in my life so far; the first on a month-long car trip with my buddy and the second while i was the caregiver/caretaker for my Mother. In both cases it was my lack of sleep which made me very difficult to be around.

1) Sleep Deprivation - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_deprivation

2) Also Related; The medications that change who we are - https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20200108-the-medications-...

So whenever you note that somebody's behaviour has abruptly changed, always ask two questions; a) Are you sleeping well? b) What medications are you taking and what diet are you on?


While being partially conscious and losing a lot of cognitive function (spatial sensing, balance, short term memory)


Doctors are a unique type. So excruciatingly educated. So utterly disconnected.


It's a weird state of affairs. I spent a lot of time around doctors through family and an (ex) significant other, and my take is that you just can’t absorb the quantity of material they have to, and do the quantity of things that is required of them, without becoming a bit disconnected as a result.

The fact that med school + residency means you basically have to put your life on hold throughout all of your 20s while other people are figuring out the whole “being a young adult in the world” thing leads to very… particular emotional development.

Medical school doesn’t particularly encourage questioning the status quo or established practices.

Some of them can recalibrate after a few years in the real world, but many never really escape that bubble. It’s hard to radically change your outlook on life in your 30s (let alone when you now have to repay huge debt, in the case of many American doctors)


a lot of doctors were a bit “off” before med school starts.

Many of premed kids I knew in undergrad (or the high schoolers aspiring to premed) weren’t motivated by scientific pursuits or an altruistic desires - they just had to be the best. They needed to ace every test (and would argue incessantly with the teachers about it), they had to be in the hardest classes, etc. they became doctors because somebody told them it was hard and well respected.

I imagine that those people become doctors that are disconnected from their patients.


There used to be fewer clear paths to excelling. Lawyer, doctor, professor.


Do you want to be:

- Rich and respected -> doctor

- Rich but not respected -> lawyer, software

- Not rich but respected -> professor


> Rich and respected -> doctor

A lot of people are going to be disappointed. Truth is medicine is a decadent profession, worldwide. In some countries, it's in free fall and accelerating to terminal velocity. In some parts of the world, doctors are hated to the point they routinely suffer physical violence.

The US manages to keep it relevant by restricting supply and maintaining its elite status but I'm not sure doctors are still respected there. Plenty of hackers who think they can do it better than the doctors right here on HN. I'm a programmer myself and I know for a fact a computer could do significant parts of the job. Even psychiatry is in danger due to LLMs.


HN nerds[1] talking about doctors reminds me a lot about bean-counters talking about IT and software.

> Plenty of hackers who think they can do it better than the doctors right here on HN

Of course they would, it's easy to come up with solutions that are simple and wrong, when one has no point of reference. Hackers understand balancing trade-offs in programming languages or architectures, but can't imagine other fields being nuanced or even more complex. If an LLM cant tell you when to use a monorepo, then it far from telling you when a specific drug dosage is right for a patients set of circumstances.

1. I can use that word, I am one too.


> I'm a programmer myself and I know for a fact a computer could do significant parts of the job.

A computer does a massive part of almost any job today, so I’m not sure what exactly this is trying to say about the profession. Wait until you hear that pilots can’t even fly without an airplane. Total conmen.


Medical school is an abusive environment. It's literally filled with awesome people like hypercompetitive assholes who you will throw you under the bus, professors whose teaching method consists of socratically asking you questions until you look like a moron in front of your peers. Public humiliation was a daily experience and physical abuse was also not unheard of. Soul destroying work schedules are also imposed on you even while you're still a student. In fact, this labor is straight up integrated into the system. Students can't do much because they don't know anything but residency is comparable to indentured servitude.

It's hard to describe the effect years of this can have on the mind. Things can get so distorted you feel guilty for eating, for going to the bathroom, sleeping, resting. Normal people things like a weekend or a good night's sleep become luxuries to you. You come home and everyone's already asleep. People start out all starry eyed and thinking about making a successful career out of helping people, but as it nears its end people can't wait to just start making fat stacks already.

It functions as a sociopath breeding ground. Basically weeds out your humanity by punching you until you like it, hammering you until you get good at it so that you fit into the system. Some people just quit when faced with that, others try to take it and end up committing suicide. One of the most haunting stories I've ever heard was about young woman asking her attendings about suicide methods after a patient killed himself. They thought she was an interested student who was trying to learn about stuff so they happily dispensed all the information they knew. She efficiently and painlessly killed herself not even a day later.

People who make it out of this process might enjoy good pay and lifestyle depending on the country and the specialty they chose. It definitely costs them, though.


The crazy might be unavoidable.

The power to repair people, fend off suffering and death. That's religion level power. It's bound to warp everything around it like a black hole.

It would take a society of exceptional sanity to handle it right.


They have different priorities, especially with major interventions. First priority, make sure you don't die. Sleep and recovery are down the list a bit.

Disconnected? Probably. But I think that's intended and part of the current medical model. It's not necessarily a bad thing when focusing on long term positive outcomes in aggregate. But it certainly feels inhumane at times to the individual and their loved ones.


We never once saw a doctor. It was all nurses, mandatory education, paperwork, blood tests, vital checks, moving rooms, etc. At one point we were trying to sleep and a breastfeeding assistant stopped by. Super helpful that they can stop by, but jeez just coordinate for a 4 hour block where we're not disturbed.


> First priority, make sure you don't die. Sleep and recovery are down the list a bit.

But lack of sleep can impair immunity and disturb blood pressure and heart rhythm. Keeping someone with major trauma under stress (like being constantly awake) can make them more likely to die.


Everything in medicine is a tradeoff


They encounter a lot of suffering and some of them encounter deaths. Disconnecting themselves from the patients is one way of staying sane.


Parent meant disconnecting from the big picture of what it means to heal and be healthy, not specifically emotional connections with patients.


Hey I watched that tv show too. With the charismatic head doctor and the brilliant yet quirky interns. Small world.


It is inhumane and lawsuit avoidance as well.

When someone dies in the hospital what happens in the inquiry? Examine the symptoms of the person who died and how to detect them. Add another check.

If they left someone alone for 2 hours or 4 hours and they passed away during that time, what would the headlines read? "General Healthcare left the patient alone for X hours and didn't even bother to check on their well being."


This is most likely why. American lawsuit culture is cray


Seems like the modern equivalent of doctors treating illness with leeches.


My Dad was in palliative care and there wasn't a period of any more than 10 minutes where there wasn't interruption. I'm glad he had constant care but it was almost quite literally constant.

As son and father in an end of life situation there was no gap to contemplate or allow us to connect it was drugs injection, food, check if he ate, back again, pick up tray, more drugs, check on his breathing, bathroom break (needed assistance).

Dad was probably OK with it but we never had a chance to just have a moment and possibly say something we never would have. He died at 8:40pm on my birthday of all days as I sat next to him.


I'm glad you were able to be with him when he passed.


I stayed in a nice suite in a hotel once and it was the same until I put the do not disturb sign on the door

It was like they were obsessed with busy work, I couldn’t tell if they didn’t want me there or if this was VIP treatment to them

It was in another country


Were you in your suite in the late morning? Hotels usually assume that that's the time tourists are most likely to be out about town, so they try to cram every type of cleaning and maintenance into that period.

Hotels also schedule their check-out + check-in times to leave a gap around this period, so that at least some percentage of their suites will be "between guests" each day for a few hours, and thus able to be deep-cleaned. But if that doesn't happen — e.g. if the whole hotel is booked for a convention weekend, and it's the Saturday and nobody's checking out that day — then the cleaning staff that normally does the deep cleans will be hunting around for minor stuff to do so they can look busy.


I travel a lot and hadn't had that experience, but I usually don't book suites that nice


We had to keep our daughter on a photocopier looking device for bilirubin as well as the tests. Nobody told me how common this is so I also got to enjoy a feeling of panic and dread while that was going on.

Plus my boss kept calling me.


Phototherapy is so scary looking, but the NICU nurses made it clear to my wife and I that everything was going to be fine. That said, seeing your newborn in that state after you just welcomed them to the world is a real brain blast of trauma. I still remember the feeling as you described: hollow dread and fear.


"Congratulations on your baby, but you have more important things to deliver"


Yeah like a 2 weeks notice.


> then distrurbed for tests and briefings every 90 minutes for 3 days

How odd. Why do hospitals not cluster these interactions together — the "while I've got you here..." experience?


They usually do. While it could be the case the hospital is just poorly managed, it's hard to say without knowing the specifics of each case. I don't know what all those "briefings" were about but there could have been medical reasons for tests every 90 minutes.

Honestly, the truth is hospitals are designed to do this. The entire purpose of the place is to have people moved into it so that these constant checks and examinations as well as treatments can be done most efficiently. The idea is to rapidly notice and react to changes in the patient's condition.

In programming terms, the core function of a hospital is to poll and update the patient's state in a loop that runs while consent is given and until cured or dead. The polling frequency is calibrated according to knowledge of the patient's general condition and the specific pathology being treated.

If you know the patient could bleed out and die after some surgical procedure, you want to check periodically that this is not happening. How frequently do you check? Depends on what you predict could happen. If you think the worst that could happen is a small and slow bleeding, then you can check less often. If you think there's risk of major bleeding, then you want to check frequently, possibly even constantly.


Depending on the situation, it's necessary to check the status of the patient every hour or so. If a condition carries e.g. an increased risk of stroke, there is no way to check for it except asking the patient to move and talk. A good night of sleep is valuable, but if you wake up with a severe paralysis and after the time window that allows e.g. removal of a clot, it's been too high a price for a few nights of good sleep


Sure, the tests I get. It was the briefings that seem weird to not cluster.

In the case of a pregnancy, I'm assuming these "briefings" are things like trying to teach the new parent things they'll need to know when they go home; or giving them status updates about tests done on their new baby if they're in the NICU, and so forth. These all seem like things that could wait.

Is the point to use the infodumping as an excuse to do the tests?


Clustering is a big goal for hospitals, since it's also easier for the nurses, but a lot of factors can interrupt that. Coordinating different people to do different tasks, getting the requisite lab results or medication approvals on time, ad-hoc requests from the patient/patient family themselves, a need to quickly double check what the monitors on the patient are saying in case something is going wrong, etc.


That is not how it always goes. We had sustained periods of sleep and time alone following delivery. My partner actually wasn’t a huge fan of her OB before the delivery but thought she was great during. Loved the combo of kind and gentle nurses and a doctor coming in and just ordering her around. Kinda personal trainer vibes.

We made it clear we wanted to be left alone over night, had reasons for why (neurological issues that are exacerbated by poor sleep) and they largely respected that. Maybe if we didn’t have that excuse it would have been worse. Shit, even the vending machine salads were pretty good. Didn’t love sleeping on a foam bench for 5 days, but we felt quite positive about the delivery center we had our child at in the US.


This mirrors my experience as well. It's so weird. Give us a break!!


This is standard hospital. Rest is the healer but they will not let you rest. Tests and loud noises, endlessly. It is quite insane.


For new mothers, they want to check that they're still alive and haven't started silently bleeding out, in which case they soon won't be alive.


Yes, I know. But restful healing is important too. And it has a good track record, better than the doctors in fact. They should work around the healing instead of interfering with it.


No one will win a malpractice lawsuit over lost sleep, different story for lost lives.


That's not really true.


Surely there's yet another kind of machine they could hook up, that could silently monitor you for blood loss / internal bleeding? Especially if they know where to expect that potential bleeding to appear? (The probe for that one would probably be pretty uncomfortable while you're awake, but that doesn't matter if they let you sleep!)


Not much replaces a physical examination with the physician or nurse present.

Serious complications can be quite subtle that unless you answer questions, they may be missed. Having someone come in, listen to your heart and lungs, ask a few questions can't really be replaced with machines.


I accept the answering-questions part — but it might be just barely possible today to build an "automatic stethoscope" machine, that sits there continuously listening to your heart and lungs, feeding the audio through an ML model, and alerting if it "hears" anything odd, no?

(It wouldn't even need to know what the odd thing represents; just that it's out-of-expectation enough to require someone to come over and check on you! A bit like asking a family's child to watch grandma while you speak to the mom and dad. All you want the child to do, is to freak out and get your attention if grandma does anything other than what she was already doing!)


A smart stethoscope won't monitor consciousness and lucidity, which are vital signals.


Okay? I already said "I accept the answering-questions part."

Doctors not having to manually probe any signs of heart/lung problems each time they're in the room, would mean that they get either get more time to test each patient for consciousness/lucidity; get time to check on more patients; or (my preferred option) are able to make each check-session shorter and less invasive (no need to sit the patient up to listen to their lungs through their back, for example), and thus less disturbing of a patient's sleep quality (because it's easier to go back to sleep after a short conversation, when you haven't had your blood pressure spike from sitting up.)


Standard patient monitoring indirectly monitors for blood loss. Decreased blood pressure, increased breathing rate, increased heart rate are all signs of blood loss. This can be and is done by machines.

The thing people don't seem to understand is the fact doctors also monitor consciousness. Depressed mental state is also a sign of blood loss. The patient's neurolopsychogical state is important information, it has diagnostic and prognostic value.

The most basic way of evaluating a patient's neuropsychological state is to bother them with questions.


Understand that there are so many complications that can happen after pregnancy that put the mother at risk that can’t just be mitigated by sleep


almost like it's a business and they don't want to lose any customers...


Having a similar experience with our first child this week. Almost a full day of labour only to have a c-section at the very end due to complications.

Even the c-section seemed absolutly brutal, at one point I was convinced one of the surgeons placed his foot on the table for leverage, given how much movement there was to her body.

As if the physical trauma wasn't enough, being in a room with multiple first-time parents struggling to breastfeed as both they and their children cried, then being visited and probed every hour by medical staff with ineffective pain relief, /and/ having work out how to care for your child when the only communication path is basically through an amplitude modulated scream -

Honestly, I've had some low points in my life, I thought I had a high tolerance for physical and emotional pain, but I can only describe what my wife experienced this week as total, crushing anguish.


I am always surprised the maternity hotel of china has not become more popular. Seems like a really great use of money to help both mother and child.


You have to imagine how much it'd cost, and how many lawsuits there would be when someone dies.


For us it was our baby daugther herself who kept us awake. For months we didn't have more than 2 hours of undisturbed sleep. After like 3 or 4 months we had around 4 hours of undisturbed sleep for a looong time. Now she's three and we sometimes get a full night of sleep but several times a week we get woken up at around 3 a clock at night by our daugther complaining about ghosts or something like that.


It’s a unique kind of sleep deprivation


Indeed. I absolutely love my daughter but I think having her made me and my wife feel at least 10 years older. I always wanted two kids but now it makes me afraid and I honestly believe I would not survive a second one. At least not a similar like my daughter.

She's super cute, intelligent and active but also extremely demanding and had a lot of problems with dermatitis, tummy aches, KISS syndrome and other stuff that made her not sleep well and cry a lot (and she's super loud).

It also made me respect single parents 10000 times more than before. I can't imagine handling a situation like that alone.


I thought the same as you and delayed having a second kid as a result. Ended up having two more. The second kid was so much different than the first, slept fine, is way more emotionally regulated, etc. I regret my fear based decision making to delay. The third kid is somewhere between the first two.

Fear based decisions don’t always lead to the best outcomes, though I am in no way dismissing the fear :)


I can tell you that the challenges of raising kids does not scale linearly with child count, it’s exponential.


I totally get the respect for single parents; it’s mind-blowing how they manage


My kids are much older but something about the experience of rearing babies and toddlers changed my sleep permanently: I sleep much lighter (read: woken up by every noise and movement), and the whole concept of "sleeping in" has vanished as a possibility, even if I go to bed very late and no one else is in the house.

Of course it's a trade-off I'd gladly make again but it still sucks that I will never feel as well rested day-to-day as I did before kids.




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