What's so surprising about a comment like that? It seems like a way to build some rapport with the parents - a recognition that they have a hard job - a harder job than other parents with handicapped kids. And how the parents respond to a question like that would be illustrative to the doctor as to what sort of support the kid is receiving or can expect in the future.
I had a friend at uni who really struggled financially through no fault of her own (parents where farmers going through a drought, she had a serious illness, her sibling was mentally handicapped) and when she went to see the financial counsellor at uni, she asked him "So, what's my situation like?' and he replied 'Well it's pretty bad ... to be honest, your situation is the worst I've ever seen!"
She actually laughed when she relayed the story to me. She said it was a bit of blow to have confirmation that her situation was so bad, but it was also an immense relief to know that she didn't have to feel guilty about struggling. Her situation was bad - but she was still coping. That gave her a big boost of confidence that she could one day escape her troubles (and she has).
In the same way, I read the comment from the neuropsychologist in the same way, an attempt to build some rapport with the parents.
Assuming the article is completely accurate, the doctor's phrasing and mannerisms (e.g., shaking his head, emphasizing not only that the child is in the bottom 1% but that 99% are better than him, "seemingly perplexed"), don't seem consistent with your explanation. His comments and tone don't strike me at all as being encouraging or reassuring, he just sounds completely dumbfounded by the parents' situation, almost as if he pities them for having such awful lives.
I didn't read it that way at all, either. It was sympathy and amazement. Shacking his head in astonishment, and perplexed at how they can handle what they must.
Maybe it's because I've been on the other side, seeing that shaking head and being asked that question, but it doesn't at all come across anything less than support and encouragement.
I had a friend at uni who really struggled financially through no fault of her own (parents where farmers going through a drought, she had a serious illness, her sibling was mentally handicapped) and when she went to see the financial counsellor at uni, she asked him "So, what's my situation like?' and he replied 'Well it's pretty bad ... to be honest, your situation is the worst I've ever seen!"
She actually laughed when she relayed the story to me. She said it was a bit of blow to have confirmation that her situation was so bad, but it was also an immense relief to know that she didn't have to feel guilty about struggling. Her situation was bad - but she was still coping. That gave her a big boost of confidence that she could one day escape her troubles (and she has).
In the same way, I read the comment from the neuropsychologist in the same way, an attempt to build some rapport with the parents.