I suspect it's the former, but it doesn't seem outrageous (like all "common sense"). I think the hard part is to replicate the parts one's parents did right. Like IT, when someone gets things right, they're invisible. When they get things wrong, it seems like the only thing they ever did. This is part of why I want my children's grandparents involved as much as possible in their life. I need to \alpha \times \grandparents + (1 - \alpha) \times \parents my kids.

I think it's pretty obviously me pontificating from personal observations. Did you see the "hakuna matata"? We're allowed to do that here.

And yes, sure, it's more complicated than that. It's always more complicated. It's unlikely the final word on any topic will fit in an HN comment.