>That said, I'd be curious to know how long it'd take a device like this to decrypt "secure" AES256 text.
Well, according to the article it tops out at about 340 Gigahashes/second. Let's for the sake of simplicity assume it can do about 1 teraflop (10^12 operations per second, or about 2^40 operations per second). The best known attack for the full 14 round AES encryption reduces it's complexity to 2^96 instructions. So you finish this in 2^56 seconds, or about 2 billion years. I recommend you either wait for an advancement in cryptanalysis or just 30 more doublings of parallel processing power.
Well, according to the article it tops out at about 340 Gigahashes/second. Let's for the sake of simplicity assume it can do about 1 teraflop (10^12 operations per second, or about 2^40 operations per second). The best known attack for the full 14 round AES encryption reduces it's complexity to 2^96 instructions. So you finish this in 2^56 seconds, or about 2 billion years. I recommend you either wait for an advancement in cryptanalysis or just 30 more doublings of parallel processing power.