I was in a very similar situation, I built a web-app pretty much exactly as my biz partners needed; I spent probably 15 months writing it. I put everything into this venture, I lived on my savings and drained my 401ks as a last ditch effort hoping things would turn around.
Guess what, never happened. My partners were idiots, they didn't want to do anything I suggest. I told them about TechStars Boulder at the start some 2.5 years ago now (I live in Denver), they didn't like the sound of it, didn't like having to give away equity for 'nothing in return'. Now, 2+ years later, the one remaining Biz partner wanted to do TechStars, is leaving his day job to put everything into this. I told him I simply couldn't take the time off to do it now, that time had past, I have a new fulltime job I love and there is no way I'd jeopardize it for our startup now (turns out he applied and we were turned down anyway, probably for the best).
Unfortunately sometimes you just have the wrong partner(s), it's as simply as that. Why not get a full-time job and go into maintenance mode ont the startup? That's basically what I finally did. I told my remaining partner I can't live like this anymore, barely scraping by and that I was going to get a fulltime job and commit to them 100%. I will still fix bugs but as far as new features go, I simply tell him I won't add anything until he signs up 10 new accounts and pays me for my time now. Hasn't happened yet and he's been trying for about 6 months now focused on the business trying to sell accounts.
Be honest with them and tell them you can't live like this any more, you've kept your end of the deal, they are welcome to soldier on but you have your own responsibilities to take care of. You'll gladly help maintain what has been built, fix bugs and do what you can outside your normal 9-5 job, but otherwise you are going to have to focus on what's best for you and your family. If they are good people they will understand, if they are not, then you've done all you can and should feel fine with moving on and doing what you need to do.
Guess what, never happened. My partners were idiots, they didn't want to do anything I suggest. I told them about TechStars Boulder at the start some 2.5 years ago now (I live in Denver), they didn't like the sound of it, didn't like having to give away equity for 'nothing in return'. Now, 2+ years later, the one remaining Biz partner wanted to do TechStars, is leaving his day job to put everything into this. I told him I simply couldn't take the time off to do it now, that time had past, I have a new fulltime job I love and there is no way I'd jeopardize it for our startup now (turns out he applied and we were turned down anyway, probably for the best).
Unfortunately sometimes you just have the wrong partner(s), it's as simply as that. Why not get a full-time job and go into maintenance mode ont the startup? That's basically what I finally did. I told my remaining partner I can't live like this anymore, barely scraping by and that I was going to get a fulltime job and commit to them 100%. I will still fix bugs but as far as new features go, I simply tell him I won't add anything until he signs up 10 new accounts and pays me for my time now. Hasn't happened yet and he's been trying for about 6 months now focused on the business trying to sell accounts.
Be honest with them and tell them you can't live like this any more, you've kept your end of the deal, they are welcome to soldier on but you have your own responsibilities to take care of. You'll gladly help maintain what has been built, fix bugs and do what you can outside your normal 9-5 job, but otherwise you are going to have to focus on what's best for you and your family. If they are good people they will understand, if they are not, then you've done all you can and should feel fine with moving on and doing what you need to do.