> Sigh. Sadly, it has become fashionable to bring up Perl only to ridicule it even when there is absolutely no context or need.

A lot of people ridicule C, I just laugh my head off.

Apologies, I assure you that I am not ridiculing it. The elegance of a language is not my concern. In fact, your comment has made me decide to put some effort into learning a bit more Perl, but I will have to find some time.