I agree, and I also agree with the OP on this issue. Typically, at the point of a counter offer, a line has already been crossed. We've all seen exceptions, but by the time that meeting takes place, the employee has usually left already in their minds and counter offers are typically too little, too late.
If, as in your three cases, the employer has clearly failed, then the employee is in a position of strength. They probably don't even want a counter offer, as they are already resolved to leave. If the employer is surprised, it simply further illustrates the problem and validates the decision to leave.
From the employer's perspective, if the employee is just trying to leverage better comp opportunistically instead of through merit, it's also unwise to match or beat the offer. In my experience, this only tends to happen with younger, inexperienced people who don't have a long view of their career.
Either way, my policy is that when a person leaves, that meeting marks the end of their tenure at the company. Pay them for the two weeks notice they are always willing to give, just as if they were still working, and make all honorable accommodations. But once someone has resolved to leave, it's just better for everyone if they weren't around for an extended farewell tour.
This is often very difficult policy for managers, because they fear that a person is indispensable and will require the full notice period to train up replacements. They worry about the disruption to the business that it would cause. But if that's the case, it simply highlights another management failure. I'd rather take the business disruption, which gives my team an opportunity to shine, instead of the cultural disruption of having someone there-but-not-there, anxious to move on.
If, as in your three cases, the employer has clearly failed, then the employee is in a position of strength. They probably don't even want a counter offer, as they are already resolved to leave. If the employer is surprised, it simply further illustrates the problem and validates the decision to leave.
From the employer's perspective, if the employee is just trying to leverage better comp opportunistically instead of through merit, it's also unwise to match or beat the offer. In my experience, this only tends to happen with younger, inexperienced people who don't have a long view of their career.
Either way, my policy is that when a person leaves, that meeting marks the end of their tenure at the company. Pay them for the two weeks notice they are always willing to give, just as if they were still working, and make all honorable accommodations. But once someone has resolved to leave, it's just better for everyone if they weren't around for an extended farewell tour.
This is often very difficult policy for managers, because they fear that a person is indispensable and will require the full notice period to train up replacements. They worry about the disruption to the business that it would cause. But if that's the case, it simply highlights another management failure. I'd rather take the business disruption, which gives my team an opportunity to shine, instead of the cultural disruption of having someone there-but-not-there, anxious to move on.